Lads…I had the biggest brainfart of my life this morning. I was driving down the road, going a slightly different route than I would normally take because I was picking someone up for work. Nevertheless, I have driven this road countless times in the past. In the recent past, mind. I passed under the One Eye Bridge, turned the bend and a car was stopped in the middle of the road. A truck was stopped on the other side of the road with a big line of traffic behind it. I wondered what they were all doing? How did so many cars break down at once??
As I indicated out and overtook these buffoons I locked eyes with the woman in the stationary car. Her eyes bored into mine with a mixture of confusion and anger. I mirrored her gaze. What wa she looking at? I indicated back in and continued on down the road, only concerned with making my way into town to pick up my co-worker. I noticed angry faces glowering at me as I slowly, mockingly rolled by them. It was only as I turned the next bend and faced the roundabout that I realised my monumental howler. To those people it looked like I was the meanest See You Next Tuesday in the world who flouted basic morality and road-formalities whenever I felt like it. Little did they know that all sense left my body and instead of seeing a woman letting a long line of traffic make its way from behind a parked truck, I saw people too indecisive to drive their cars and said I better drive myself or I’d be late. And you know what? I’d feckin’ do it again! Let them rot!*
Have you ever had a moment where you messed up like this? Have you ever wanted to let those people know that you’re actually not an asshole?; You’re just a little bit slow on the uptake in the mornings like me?
*I deeply apologise to all involved. Especially the woman who I fear might have her mouth permanently stuck like that after witnessing my jaw-dropping arrogance.