How I Spend My Money

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The Benjamins

Each week the journos over at the Journal dot IE pick a fairly financially comfortable twenty-something to give us their money diary for the week. They bring us through their spending, necessary and unnecessary, and usually finish off the week with a heartfelt little note about how they will curtail their frivolous spending from now. Here’s a truthful one.

I’m a 25 year old office worker living in Cork City. I live at home with my parents and have only recently bought my first car. I am terrible at saving and would never claim to be good with money. I like pints.

Occupation: Office-worker/Data entry clerk/full time mad bastard.
Age: 25.
Looks: 35.
Location: Cork/Wherever the road takes me.
Salary: None of your business you cheeky bes!
Monthly pay (net): About €1600.

Monthly Costs

Transport: €352 – including car loan.
Rent: My parents haven’t asked me for any yet. I’ll hold out till the new year at least.
Household bills: LOL.
Phone bill: €20
Health insurance: I simply don’t get injured so I don’t need this hence why I don’t pay for it. Simple.
Groceries: €100 on bits and pieces for lunch.
Subscriptions: Netflix €9.99, Spotify €8.99.
Gym: €42.

Monday

6:30 am: I wake up and begin my five minute scream at the ceiling to prepare myself for another Monday. This is a free form of therapy I’ve formed that doesn’t cost me a penny.
6:31 am: My girlfriend punches me in the side of the head to signal that my therapy time is over.
7:10 am: I stayed over this weekend so begin the drive back to Cork and to work. She packed me lunch because she is the best.
9:10 am: I sped the whole way home. Suck on that, pigs! I get a coffee and a yoghurt in the shop to start my day. This comes to €6.00.
13:30 pm: I have my lunch of breaded haddock and mashed potatos. I like to break the boundaries of cuisine whenever I can.
5:30 pm: I head home and lie down on the couch after eating dinner. This has been a good day but tiring so I stay in for the evening. I get all my gym gear ready in preparation of going in the evening and then don’t go.
11:00 pm: I go to bed after snoozing on the couch all evening. I fall asleep after 1 am.
Today’s total: €6.00.

Tuesday

6:30 am: I am on the early shift today and in my own bed so I get my full five minute scream in. My mother barges into MY room and tells me I have to move out if I’m, “…going to keep up the shouting shite!” I laugh and tell her to get out and that that joke isn’t that funny anymore.
17:00 pm: I brought my lunch with me today and we have free coffee in work so I didn’t spend any money on unnecessary food.
21:00 pm: I head to the cinema with my brothers. I get free entry because I gave two long years of my life to that place. I pay for my Munchies, which is ironic because I robbed so many bags of them while I worked there. LOL.
Today’s total: €3.90.

Wednesday

10:00 am: I bring my Flahavan’s Quick Oats to work with me and have them for my breakfast. I also have lunch with me for later so I’m looking forward to saving even more money today.
12:30 pm: My lunch is sitting in the fridge in the canteen in work. I am standing in the queue for Subway about to pay for my footlong Italian meatball sub with cookies and a drink. The really annoying guy in work took his break at the same time as me and I couldn’t bear the thought of listening to him talk about nothing.
1:30 pm: I finish my Subway and start tucking into my sandwich I made this morning. It would taste better if I wasn’t forcing it down my throat into an already full stomach. I look at my cookies and shake in fear but I know I must persevere. There are starving children in Africa that would eat this no problem.
6:00 pm: I eat my dinner in silence, afraid that I will vomit if I open my mouth for anything other than food.
9:00 pm: I have turned into a giant piece of food. I am edible. Cookable. The meat sweats come in waves.
Today’s cost: €8.60 and a quarter of my weight in sweat. Also my dignity.

Thursday

6:30 am: I wake up a new man. After a successful trip to the bathroom I resolve myself to eat my own lunch that day instead of going to the shop as well.
10:30 am: He is so annoying. I have to get out of here for at least a few minutes at lunch.
12:30 pm: I decide to take a quick drive to clear my head after listening to absolute shite for the last two hours. Where should I go?
12:45 pm: I arrive at the shop and feel Subway calling out my name. The deli is closer and cheaper and arguably better so I make my way towards the crispy chicken goodness.
19:00 pm: It is not the money that bothers me so much as the unnecessary food. I have lunches with me for a reason. Healthy eatin’ and less spendin’. Nothing works. At least I can save money at home.
22:00 pm: One of the lads is home from Waterford for the evening and we are six pints deep. We’re on rounds and everyone knows that’s cheaper. Town is on the cards, yup I said!
1:30 am: HSHDBhaahsdjasd??!!!
Today’s cost: ????

Friday

8:00 am: Jesus H. Christ, why is that light so bright. Every movement brings with it a fresh wave of nausea. Luckily, my darling mother is going to drop me to work. She is too pure for this world. Oh, fuck, why did I move my head when I tried to get up.
10:00 am: Maybe I’m still drunk. Oh Lord I’m having too much fun dong nothing and laughing at everything. Do they know I was out last night? Haha nah they definitely don’t.
14:00 pm: Everyone knows. Somebody said they smelled alcohol earlier and I ran to the bathroom. Everyone knows and I’m going to lose my job. Oh, why must I love the sauce so much. Never again, and I mean this, never again. I’m off it. And the fags too.
19:30 pm: Sure more friends are home for the weekend. It’s nearly Christmas sure. Can’t rule out pints.
2:10 am: So drubk.
Today’s costs: Shot$!!

Saturday

15:00 pm: I finally awaken from my slumber. There will be no food for me today and therefore, no costs.
20:00 pm: I need pizza. I must have it. I will not rest until I have it.
21:30 pm: I feel not one bit better after all my dough balls and pepperoni swirls.
Today’s costs: €40

Sunday

12:00 pm: The 2nd day fear has kicked in. Why does nobody love me? Why do all my friends hate me? Why does every job seem like a dead end? Begin hyperventilating. Keep hyperventilating. Stop hyperventilating when a loved one shows any interest in me. Repeat twice every hour for five hours.
6:00 pm: I start Fifa for a six hour playthrough before staring at the ceiling and preparing for my morning scream.
Today’s costs: €0.

Weekly Subtotal: €58.50 confirmed, hundreds on beer uncomfirmed.

What I learned:

  • I should really keep track of my money when I go out drinking. Maybe there’s a handy app for that. Maybe the national banks could look into it so I could see just how much I spend on a typical night out.
  • I have to stop letting my feelings of pure, unadulterated hatred influence my spending. Eat healthy, feel healthy.
  • I have it very lucky in that I have no real household bills bar buying my food for the week. In saying that, my family are very lucky in that I choose to live with them.
  • I have so much potential to save. I have so much potential as a human bean. Will I fulfill either? Tune in next week.

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